Haven't blogged in a while

Yeah, so I haven't blogged in a while. I've been kinda busy lately, putting in over 60 hour weeks and just trying to enjoy the time I have off with my family. I'm not complaining, and I've done worse for longer, but I'd rather give up my time on the computer for my wife and kids. Needless to say, I am at work now, and have a little bit of time to spare.

Things are going well. The job is going well, I just got another raise, and I'm excited about that, especially since I previously had mixed feelings about my place in the company.

This is about no one in particular, but even speaking to some of my married non-Christian friends and some Christian ones, they say to me that people can fall out of love, or there's no reason to stay married to someone if that person makes you unhappy. I've also heard many people on the verge of leaving their spouse say, that they've never loved their spouse, or there was always some doubt in their mind that this was the right person for them and point back to how they met or the situation that somehow "forced" them to marry. They've even said, "How is it that there is only one person in the whole world that you are meant to spend your whole life with, and what if I chose the wrong one?"

It is my belief that these people are lying to themselves. Why would they lie to themselves? They want to make their actions not wrong, relieve some of their guilt on their consciences for their decisions, and just make excuses for giving up. We try to explain love away as a feeling, but love is not a feeling; love is patient, love is kind, love is a lot of things, but it's not something that fades away over time. You love your kids (if you have them), and you don't fall out of love with them, but somehow you've fallen out of love with your spouse.

That feeling you have that you call 'Love' is probably not love, most likely not even lust, it's you trying to come to terms with your state of emotions and you are calling it love. You are unhappy, or depressed, or maybe you bicker and complain with your spouse a lot, and this unsettled state of emotions is what you claim is "not in love". That feeling is your excuse to say that it's okay for you to give up. It's so easy to start to believe these excuses, making it all the easier to give up on your vows to God, your spouse, and your families. Marriage is hard, it takes work, and it's always easier just to give up. Don't start believing that divorce is your only option; it's better to not even think of it as an option. Once you start tricking yourself that you never "loved" your spouse, that option becomes your main one. It's all physics from there, you know, "the path of least resistance."

Mark 10:

1 Jesus then left that place and went into the region of Judea and across the Jordan. Again crowds of people came to him, and as was his custom, he taught them
2 Some Pharisees came and tested him by asking, "Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife?"
3 "What did Moses command you?" he replied.
4 They said, "Moses permitted a man to write a certificate of divorce and send her away."
5 "It was because your hearts were hard that Moses wrote you this law," Jesus replied.
6 "But at the beginning of creation God 'made them male and female.'
7 'For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife,
8 and the two will become one flesh.'So they are no longer two, but one.
9 Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate."
10 When they were in the house again, the disciples asked Jesus about this.
11 He answered, "Anyone who divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery against her.
12 And if she divorces her husband and marries another man, she commits adultery."

I think that there are instances in which divorce is an option and 1 of them is listed in the bible, which is adultery. In my personal opinion, if your spouse beats you, or hurts you or your children, that is also a permissable reason for divorce, or at least a reason to put your spouse in prison for a long while. For most other issues, help should be sought out, counseling, whatever means necessary to hold fast to your marriage and determine the root cause for your state of being that you think is the loss of love toward your spouse. Remember a marriage is 100-100, not 50-50. You need to give your all, and yes, sometimes it's difficult when your spouse is not giving their all, but you can't give up. Open lines of communication by both parties will help in the process. It takes a long time to build on trust and only a moment to break it down. Remember you and your spouse are one, don't forsake the members of your body, they must be fed and nourished and taken care of; don't neglect your spouse, your children, or your marriage.