Is it Better Not to Marry?

In 1 Corinthians 7, it is said that Paul says it's better not to marry or it's good not to marry, but why would he say such a thing? Better yet, did he say such a thing?

The Greek used here in verse 1 that has been translated in the NIV as "to marry," actually refers to touch (this exact form of the term is only used in Luke 6:19 where it actually refers to the multitude trying to touch Jesus), but the NIV has translated it as "better not to marry." The ESV translates the last part of verse 1 as "It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman." The KJV translates this, "It is good for a man not to touch a woman." (Download a free Interlinear Scripture Analyzer) I don't want to argue translation, but I think that there is more going on here than just saying it's better for people not to marry. Paul goes on to say that due to all the fornication, adultery, homosexuality (sexual immorality - porneia in the Greek) that each man should have one wife and each woman one husband. This second verse and on is the obvious answer to the question posed in the first verse "Now for the matters you wrote about...", but it is my belief that this question was most likely regarding sexual immorality, as this was a huge problem at this time in Corinth (see chapter 6), rather than the issue of not getting married, but I'm no expert of the Greek Lexicon.

Paul continues on and begins to talk about sex within the marriage, that it should be mutual and somewhat often, due to a lack of self-control and temptation. I believe that self-control is the real issue at hand here and temptation and self-control are mentioned at least 5 times throughout the chapter and 4 of them are in the first half. Continuing on, Paul says in verse 7, "I wish that all were as I myself am. But each has his own gift from God, one of one kind and one of another." Some have taken this to mean that I wish that all were unmarried as he is, but how does that relate to his gift. This does not directly say, "I wish that all were not married," this is referring to his gift of self-control. Marriage is a gift from God, Paul is not saying that refraining from marriage is a gift. He had a special gift, he was able to abstain from sexual immorality without burning passions; he had self-control, which is what he is referring to in this chapter. Not everyone has that gift, we each have our own gifts.

Each of Paul's letters were written to a specific group of people at a specific time with certain issues and problems. The Corinthians were struggling with sexual immorality. Some of the problems included marriage and divorce, which Paul specifically addresses in this chapter, "10 To the married I give this command (not I, but the Lord): A wife must not separate from her husband. 11 But if she does, she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband. And a husband must not divorce his wife." We know that according to the bible that if you divorce and remarry that it's considered adultery, but the big point here was not to divorce at all.

James 1: "16 Do not be deceived, my beloved brothers. 17 Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change." Marriage is a gift from God and this gift is perfect because marriage of man and wife are modeled after God's perfect love for the Church, therefore God would not tell us that it is better not to marry, unless there were certain circumstances.

Verse 26: "Because of the present crisis, I think that it is good for you to remain as you are." If you are married, stay married, if you are not, don't get married. This is again not speaking against marriage. There was a "crisis" at this time; churches were being persecuted, people being persecuted for their beliefs. A married man would be worried about his wife and family and "worldly things" in these times of persecution and distress, rather than the Lord's affairs (Look at 1 Cor 7:25-28). Paul wants the people of Corinth to be "free from anxieties" (v. 32) that marriage would cause, the problems they would have to face, as we all know marriage is not easy, and I'm sure this would be amplified in these times.

It may have been at that time better not to marry, and at some other times in history this may have also been the case as well as some point in the future, but there is no reason to refrain from marriage through an oath of celibacy, or require anyone to do so. 1 Timothy 4:2-3 speaks against these hypocritical teachings that come from deceiving spirits and demons.

So, it is biblical to get married, and marriage is something that God created and intended from creation of man and woman. But, in some cases it may be beneficial to not marry, but in no way is it required or commanded by God, ever. However, this decision to not marry should fall in the hands of the individual through much prayer and study, and should also be based on their ability to abstain from sexual lusts and desires. Remember, even thinking lustful thoughts is considered adultery, so if you cannot abstain from said sexual desires, you should marry. In the NIV, Paul says, starting at the second half of verse 8 toward the unmarried and widows "...I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I am. 9 But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion." In the KJV, "I say therefore to the unmarried and widows, it is good for them if they abide even as I," which is talking about them "abiding" and not giving in to their lustful desires, rather than his position on marriage.

Being married is a blessing, but it brings on additional turmoil that can be hard on Christians in their walk with God, and can add to a couple the additional pressure of providing for family, needs, shelter, and other concerns.

Read the English Standard Version or KJV or NASB and some others, and I believe that you will get a better understanding of what Paul is actually saying in this chapter. I have no issue with KJV, NIV, ESV or any other version, but I think that some things are not always as they seem in any version. If you have a better understanding or more insight, please feel free to comment and correct me, because that's what we are instructed to do. Matter of fact, if you read it, just tell me what you think or what you liked or disliked.